BRIGHT LIGHTS

Two years ago, I walked the streets of New York City, and it felt like home. The people had a sense of arrogance about them, arrogance in a way that was ambitious, not destructive. They were confident, or at the very least, they were people who had come to this city for a specific purpose. You don’t meet anyone in this city that wants to leave.... why leave before their had achieved their dreams. I had my dreams too, and two years ago, I had put a plan into action. All the skills, and desires that you gave me God, I was going to embrace and start to make my own way into this town. I had never in my life been in charge. Every job and every achievement I somehow stumbled upon. I had been living my life day to day, without any regards of where it was taking me. But for the first time, I actually wanted something, I needed it to complete me. I don’t ask for much. I’m very easily pleased, and even in bad situations, I seem to find some sort of positive to it. But now... I want something... something more than what I have and who I am. For the first time, I want it all.

I arrived in the Big Apple, two years later, a different man. So much had happened in such a short time frame, that I had forgotten about the ‘plan’, or had put it on the back burner. I roamed around the streets, with the same enthusiasm as every other time, but something about me was different. Everyone saw it. Sure, the show I had been involved in was about to make its Broadway debut, and I had relegated myself on the outside for so many reasons. But that was not the reason i was a shell of the person that New York usually makes me become.

I arrived at the Booth Theatre to see a show I had been anticipating for a long time. ‘Next To Normal’ was the ticket on Broadway, a show that challenged what a Broadway ‘musical’ would actually be. I go to the theatre by myself, especially here. I like to make my own judgements and my own responses. I got great seats, it’s so much easier to get good seats when you’re on your own. I sat down and took in the people around me. There was an older Jewish couple behind me, that had seen every show for the last 50 something years. They had already made up their own minds on the show, based on what their neighbours Yiddah and Gustav had said.

Yiddah said it was deep... too deep... she said it made her need to take her medication an hour earlier than she usually does... sad.... she said it was very sad... but loud... she said it was very loud, but since Gustav has had his surgery, he didn’t notice much... nearly was deaf you know... sad... so sad... Chinese doctor... who knew...

A glamourous couple, decked out in ‘Miami’ resort wear, with what was obviously their gay socialite buddy, sat down in front of me. The gay one bounced up and down on his seat, as if he was about to see ‘Legally Blonde’... I felt compelled to maybe inform them what I knew of the shows subject matter, I wanted to grab the guy and yell in at his face “SETTLE DOWN, THE SHOWS ABOUT MANIC DEPRESSION!!!!”, but I thought that his mood would die down naturally in a few minutes... I hoped. On my right side was a young girl who was doing a theatre major. She was an Australian, her accent was thick and whiny. I could have said hello, and discussed matters from home, but with the way she was disecting the works of ‘Chekov’ and ‘Mamet’, i thought best to not be associated with her. Next to her was her date... this poor bastard that was obviously not into her at all. His answers were short, or non existent and he stared at the empty stage as if he was wishing for the show to hurry up and start. On my left hand side, another lone spectator. He was well dressed and there for similar reasons as myself. I went to say hello and engage in small talk, but the dust from this little old theatre got the best of me, and sneezed disgustingly in his direction.... there went the small chat.

The theatre was filling up, and my anticipation was growing. There were two remaining seats in front of me, only to be filled a minute later by a mother and her son. he was about 9 years old, and beside himself to be minutes away from seeing a show. He grabbed his Playbill, and thoroughly read through the casts biogs.

Mum... the girl from ‘Spring Awakening’ is in it.. oh she was fabulous... I will never forget that show... she was such a star... and only 15... she has been in so many shows... she’s so lucky... I wonder where she learnt how to sing and dance... maybe I could go there... Mum... wow... she was even nominated for the Tony... so lucky... I’m so jealous... I want to win a Tony...

This kid was obviously going to be a performer, his flamboyance was almost deafening.

The lights in the theatre dimmed, and the show began. For the next two and a half hours i sat there, transfixed, bewildered, inspired and ultimately devastated. No theatrical piece has ever moved me in such a way, and for so many reasons.

When the lights came up, and i wiped the tears from my cheeks and the gushing mucus from my nose, I caught a glimpse of the kid sitting in front of me. His face was as bright as when he first walked in. He turned to his mother and looked into her eyes and said

“Mum...... will you take me to a singing lesson tomorrow....”

She answered calmly that she couldn’t cancel his piano lesson, but maybe the next day..... I was so impressed at how supportive she was.

But that’s when it all hit me. Broadway to me, had always been the end goal. I always thought that’s where I would end up, a natural progression for any performer, like graduating from university.

But, what if it’s the other way around for some people. When I first arrived in new York when I was 15, it launched so many goals for me, and every visit since has spurred on a new endeavour. Broadway was no longer the final bow, but the place that starts so many careers. This kid in front of me was one step closer to his dreams, all because he was so inspired by what he saw. This kid will take lesson after lesson, with the memory of ‘Next To Normal’ imbedded in his head. With each Broadway show this kid sees will only fuel his desire to be successful. This kid was not alone in this room, as right behind him was me, with the same desire to achieve something higher.

I may never make it to a Broadway stage, but that’s not part of my ‘plan’ now. But what I do know, is the effect broadway has had on me.

God, I - for once am not asking you for anything. I got control of this one. But look after that kid for me. he deserves all your attention.

KK xxx